0 comments by Michael Bates on 2/13/2014
Punch a baby? Major League Baseball can probably do that. Dump raw sewage in a pristine wetland? Why not? Take over the meth trade in New Mexico? I'm not sure why it would want to, given how profitable it is right now, but yeah, Bud Selig and his heir-apparent Rob Manfred would do that. MLB […]
0 comments by Michael Clair
Yesterday, Derek Jeter announced his retirement from baseball at the end of 2014 through a heartfelt Facebook post. But that post, in which he thanks the fans of New York and discusses his career, was actually the result of a lot of trial and error. Here were his earlier attempts: So, uhh, I guess […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 1/10/2014
(image via @
0 comments by Michael Bates on 1/7/2014
I bet Ken Gurnick is actually a hell of a guy. I bet he’s smart, and hard-working, and often thoughtful. I bet he’s kind to pets and babies and houseplants and the elderly. A lot of writers I tend to respect, including Ken Rosenthal, Dylan Hernandez and Eric Stephen, speak very highly of him. Here’s […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 12/10/2013
I had given up on baseball. I can’t give you the exact dates, but it was somewhere around 2001, when steroid rumors and my burgeoning high school self lost interest in the game. While high school, and its ability to crush a human being beyond recognition played a part, I was the child that the […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 11/25/2013
With the offseason upon us, it's the perfect time to sit back and think about baseball from a philosophic standpoint. To separate ourselves from the endless grind of reading boxscores, watching highlights, and feverishly pulling up Mike Trout's Baseball-Reference page before quickly closing our laptops when our significant other walks in the room, making sure […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 11/8/2013
(via Skreened) As you may have heard, David Ortiz, the slugging designated hitter and all around lovable guy, came in third in the recent Boston mayoral race. The transcript of his concession speech, given at a Jerry Remy's Bar and Grill at 1:30 am, has finally been released and is available below: People of Boston, gathered […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 10/8/2013
Before this year's postseason action, you probably had no idea that avocados could play sports. Hell, you probably didn't even realize there was an entire food-based baseball league, one featuring avocados, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken wings, and, surely, some kind of slaw. But just what kind of play can you expect from an avocado? Hopefully […]
0 comments by Michael Bates on 10/1/2013
On The Platoon Advantage, the people are represented by two separate, but in no way equally important groups of writers. Mike Bates (formerly The Common Man), Bill Parker, and Jason Wojiechowski, who barely write here anymore, and Michael Clair, who keeps the flame burning. These are their postseason predictions: Michael Clair: Michael’s way too worried […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 9/25/2013
(Photo by@
0 comments by Jason Wojciechowski on 9/24/2013
I do not entirely remember what it is like to write about baseball. I do not, frankly, entirely remember what it is like to watch baseball. I do remember what it is like to worry about baseball and to be anxious about vaguely baseball-related things, but those are issues for another day. A more relevant […]
-230x172.png)
0 comments by Michael Clair on 9/18/2013
Mets fans are generally an unhappy, anxious people. Which makes sense. They've been conditioned to feel that way, what with Steve Phillips, Ponzi schemes, and well, Matt Harvey's elbow. For now, though, things seemed okay. Harvey, the lover of parties and owner of a 48-hour rule, was going to try and rehab his elbow, hoping […]
0 comments by Michael Clair on 9/5/2013
*I apologize profusely for the title. However, it does bring up memories of being in elementary school and asking my schoolmates, 'Do you know what OPP stands for?' I still don't really know. By now you've probably started following Wladimir Balentien, the Curacaon slugger with a name that makes me think of Dracula Ballerina, a […]
-228x172.jpg)
0 comments by Michael Clair on 8/29/2013
Mitch Moreland hit his 20th home run of the season this week. Which saddens me a little. And no, I'm very happy for Moreland, but sad for myself, sad for Mitch Moreland becoming yet another faceless, formless 20+ HR first baseman. There is something beautiful in the spectacularly average, something that's very compelling about watching […]
0 comments by Michael Bates on 8/23/2013
In 1692, near Salem, Massachusetts, young girls began to have fits that they claimed were caused by witches. They accused three local women of witchcraft, and eventually the accusations spread to several others both in the town and in the surrounding colony. In their trials, spectral evidence (a “victim’s” accusation that they had seen an […]
