Rule Noodling: The Starting Pinch-Hitter

With the offseason upon us, it's the perfect time to sit back and think about baseball from a philosophic standpoint. To separate ourselves from the endless grind of reading boxscores, watching highlights, and feverishly pulling up Mike Trout's Baseball-Reference page before quickly closing our laptops when our significant other walks in the room, making sure […]

David Ortiz’s Mayoral Concession Speech

(via Skreened)  As you may have heard, David Ortiz, the slugging designated hitter and all around lovable guy, came in third in the recent Boston mayoral race. The transcript of his concession speech, given at a Jerry Remy's Bar and Grill at 1:30 am, has finally been released and is available below: People of Boston, gathered […]

Scouting Todd Avocado, the Baseball-Playing Avocado

Before this year's postseason action, you probably had no idea that avocados could play sports. Hell, you probably didn't even realize there was an entire food-based baseball league, one featuring avocados, hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken wings, and, surely, some kind of slaw.  But just what kind of play can you expect from an avocado? Hopefully […]

TPA 2013 Postseason Predictions

On The Platoon Advantage, the people are represented by two separate, but in no way equally important groups of writers. Mike Bates (formerly The Common Man), Bill Parker, and Jason Wojiechowski, who barely write here anymore, and Michael Clair, who keeps the flame burning. These are their postseason predictions: Michael Clair: Michael’s way too worried […]

On not clicking the Manny Machado gif

I do not entirely remember what it is like to write about baseball. I do not, frankly, entirely remember what it is like to watch baseball. I do remember what it is like to worry about baseball and to be anxious about vaguely baseball-related things, but those are issues for another day. A more relevant […]

Have No Fear, Mets Fans, Matt Harvey Is Actually A Robot

Mets fans are generally an unhappy, anxious people. Which makes sense. They've been conditioned to feel that way, what with Steve Phillips, Ponzi schemes, and well, Matt Harvey's elbow. For now, though, things seemed okay. Harvey, the lover of parties and owner of a 48-hour rule, was going to try and rehab his elbow, hoping […]

Are You Down with NPB? Yeah, You Know Me*

*I apologize profusely for the title. However, it does bring up memories of being in elementary school and asking my schoolmates, 'Do you know what OPP stands for?' I still don't really know. By now you've probably started following Wladimir Balentien, the Curacaon slugger with a name that makes me think of Dracula Ballerina, a […]

Appreciating the American Dream That Is Mitch Moreland

Mitch Moreland hit his 20th home run of the season this week. Which saddens me a little. And no, I'm very happy for Moreland, but sad for myself, sad for Mitch Moreland becoming yet another faceless, formless 20+ HR first baseman.  There is something beautiful in the spectacularly average, something that's very compelling about watching […]

The Governor’s Wife

In 1692, near Salem, Massachusetts, young girls began to have fits that they claimed were caused by witches. They accused three local women of witchcraft, and eventually the accusations spread to several others both in the town and in the surrounding colony. In their trials, spectral evidence (a “victim’s” accusation that they had seen an […]

Picking Your Team For the Last Six Weeks of the Season

Despite the addition of the extra wild card, there is still a 67% chance that your team, the one that you've spent countless thousands in merchandise on, won't be going to the playoffs. I've heard rumor that when Bud Selig eventually retires, giving in to the demonic force that feeds on his large intestine, every […]

Guest Post: Gloriously Quiet Minor League Weeknights, by Jen Mac Ramos

TPA is (coming) back! Over the next several days and/or weeks, we’ll be running guest posts, by people we like, on whatever subject they feel like writing about. You might see some familiar faces come back, too (I might even write something, some day).   Our first guest is Jen Mac Ramos —

2013 Birthday Shopping Guide

It’s that time of year again. The time of year where my odometer rolls over and I have to get my driver’s license replaced. Yes, it is my 35th birthday on Saturday. Those of you who have yet to get me something will be happy to know that I have, for the fourth year in […]

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